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Coronavirus: First Reported Case In South Africa Turns Out To Be A Hangover

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Coronavirus: First Reported Case In South Africa Turns Out To Be A Hangover

The first reported case of the Coronavirus in South Africa has been exposed as nothing more than a common hangover by the alleged victim’s wife.

Joe Malatji (31) was placed in a special isolation unit at Steve Biko Academic Hospital yesterday after claiming he’d been struck down by the deadly virus.

However, these claims have been dismissed by his wife Zanele, who revealed that Joe spent the weekend drinking Mexican beers with his friends in Sunnyside.

‘Udakwa njalo’, she explained.

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‘What do you expect to feel like when you spend a whole weekend drinking?’.

‘Well, I hope he enjoyed himself coz that’ll be the last beer he’ll have for a while. He has a living room to paint and many other chores’, she revealed.

Speaking from his bed in the Specialist Drama Unit, Joe was convinced his condition was attributed to something more sinister.

‘Listen, I’ve had my share of hangovers in the past and this is something else. Swine Flu, Ebola, something like that. Nothing to do with those delicious Mexican beers with the wee slice of lime in them’.

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However, Dr Steph Van Vyk who’s been treating Joe wasn’t convinced.

‘He is full of shit’, was her professional opinion.

‘Anyone intending to ingest large quantities of imported Mexican beers is at great risk of contracting the same ‘deadly virus’ as Joe here’.

‘His symptoms included: singing Amapiano song Lorch; a compulsion to talk pure shit and a severe allergic reaction to attending work the next day’.

Dr Steph said there are some radical new treatments that may help anyone in Joe’s condition.

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